what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Randomize
