You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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