i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
