When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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