there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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