This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
