Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
