we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
