Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
