Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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