I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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