Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
