My sheets look like a crime scene.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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