Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize