Small penises have feelings too.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
