Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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