i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
