Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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