make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
