My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
