my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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