My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
