Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
