Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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