And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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