Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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