Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
