we have pet lesbian snakes
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
