Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Someone shit on the floor
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
