i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
