Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
