My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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