So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
