There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
