How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize