I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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