ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
