Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
