oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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