its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
