i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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