i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
