Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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