do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
