The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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