i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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