then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Vodka?
Forever.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
