It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
