Small penises have feelings too.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
