Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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