going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
