Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I currently don't understand fingers.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
