i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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