i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
