I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize