I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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