wrigley field is MILF paradise
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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