nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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