Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
