Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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