my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
